Already got asked if we're dating
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
