What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
