It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
