i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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