belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
