Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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