they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
