Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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