Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
