It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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