Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
