Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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