Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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