someone get that fucking seahorse.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
