I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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