I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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