Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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