can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
