i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Still dying that you shit outside
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
