so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
