check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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