I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
