i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
