I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize