After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
