I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
