I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
