There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My balls are so social today.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
