I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize