Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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