I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
