We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
