first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
how does that bad decision feel?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
