Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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