So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
