moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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