I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
