Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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