Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
