my sisters under your porch take her home
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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