After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
