the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize