hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
