Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize