His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
