is your mom at the bar?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
