we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wear drunk well.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize