no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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