I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize