Apparently you make a good broom.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
