Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
