how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
