Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize