I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
