my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i will never coherently bang her
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
